Mastering the Art of Questioning: How Financial Advisors Can Transform Client Relationships

As a financial advisor, asking questions is a core element to being able to deliver financial advice and guidance. But are your questions actually effective? Are they landing on your client in a way that builds trust and communicates expertise? In this post, we'll explore insights from Dr. Meghaan Lurtz, an expert on the intersection of psychology and financial planning and podcast guest for Planning & Beyond, on how to revolutionize your approach to client interactions through effective questioning techniques.

The Power of Inviting Conversation

How do you define a successful client interaction? Is it by how “good” your questions are? You wouldn’t be alone if you are. Many advisors will ask during my consultations “What are some good questions for ______ (insert scenario)?” I get it. Having a bank of “good questions” may help you to feel more confident and competent in your approach with clients. But what if I told you that just focusing on asking “good questions,” could leave your client relationship vulnerable? 

In our conversation in Episode 4 of Planning & Beyond, Dr. Meghaan Lurtz and I dive into the art of asking questions. Asking good questions isn’t about the question itself, it’s about inviting conversation. Put another way, is your question to your client inviting conversation or is it shutting conversation down? 

So, what’s the difference between commanding information as Dr. Lurtz calls it versus extending invitations to conversation? It may be helpful to think about a client example. Let’s take a new couple, they're in the early stages of onboarding and you’re wanting to learn more about their college savings plan for their 2 teens. Below are two different ways of asking about their college savings plans, one commands information the other extends a conversation invitation.

1. Command Information: "What's your plan for college savings?"

2. Extend Invitations: "I can tell college planning is on your mind. Would you be willing to share where things stand with that?" or another way, “Could you share with me a little bit about your college savings plans.”

Can you tell the difference? As I read them back outloud to myself, my body responds to the first with my shoulders and head literally pulling back, away from the screen. The second, I find myself leaning in and nodding along.

 In both examples, the information you need to put together a plan may be the same. In each of their answers they may tell you some version of, “we’ve been funding their 529 plans,” for the last 10 years. For the advisor who asks the question as an invitation, they may also learn that this couple isn’t sure if both kids will actually go to college. In fact, they’re worried that their youngest may continue to live at home beyond 18 and they will need to be able to financially support them. Much deeper context than simply “yes, we’ve been saving for 10 years.” This information is crucial for you to know from a numbers perspective, and it’s also a gift; a gift of being let into their world for a few moments. 

So why do invitation questions lead us to move towards and lean in while command questions move us away? Understanding this psychological impact can greatly enhance your client interactions and outcomes. According to Dr. Lurtz, when a command question gets asked, it can trigger a defensive response within the client. Unbeknownst to you, your client’s brain has heard “there’s a right answer,” and proceeds to go on a mission, a super quick one, to find the “right” answer and share it with you. 

While this may not sound or be all that bad. For some clients, depending upon where they stack up against what they think the “right” answer is, it can elicit feelings of guilt or even shame. When these all too familiar friends show up to hang out inside your client’s brain, they have a way of shutting down the conversation with you. Not exactly what you want for your client interactions. 

The great news about all of this, is that with intentional efforts and practice, you can change your question game so that more consistently you are inviting conversation into the meeting. Here’s a few practice tips for improving. 

Practical Tips for Improving Your Questioning Game

1. Practice Rephrasing: Convert questions into invitations or commands. For example, "What's for dinner?" becomes "Tell me what you're thinking about for dinner."

2. Analyze Your Conversations: Use AI tools to review anonymized meeting transcripts and assess your questioning style.

3. Read Up: Explore books like "The Book of Beautiful Questions" by Warren Berger to deepen your understanding of effective questioning.

4. Start Small: Focus on improving your questioning in one aspect of client meetings before expanding to others.

Mastering the art of questioning is a game-changer for financial advisors. By shifting from a command style interrogation to an open invitation, you can create deeper connections with clients, uncover crucial information, and ultimately provide better financial guidance.

To hear what else Dr. Meghaan Lurtz and I have to say about asking really good questions, check out Episode 4 of Planning & Beyond. Be sure to click that follow button so you stay up to date on new releases. AND if you find the episode valuable, we’d love for you to give us a 5 star review. Until next time, keep planning, keep growing, and keep going…beyond.